While on shore leave in Brooklyn, c.1942, Private Schlomo Mendelbaum & his best friend, Private Lenny Rabinowitz, stumbled upon a pair of mermaids on the beach in Canarsie Bay. After a typical 13 month mermaid gestation period, Rozzie Mendlebaum & Sheila Rabinowitz were hatched.

Rozzie Mendlebaum

Rozzie has been hooked on politics since she was an embryo. Her mother knew she was in hot water when baby Rozzie accused her nanny fish of lilly-mandering. For a woman who’s half sea creature, her opinions aren’t shallow, in fact, some say her legislative views go off the deep end. But even with this divisive Congress, her spirits aren’t dampened. Instead, Sheila and Rozzie have found their porpoise, and are determined to help keep America afloat, by giving the DNC a leg up. Or a tail.

Nowadays, Rozzie feels a little like a fish out of water because her only daughter netted a Republican land mammal. It’s a shonda. The only thing Rozzie hates more than the GOP is pants.

Tweet Rozzie @RozzieMermaid

Sheila Rabinowitz

Things went swimmingly for Sheila, as she evolved from a well endowed hatchling to a busty tadpole, but it was only when she shed her pre-pubescent mucous glands and metamorphosed into her teenage mermaid figure that she no longer had to fish for compliments at her school. She probably took to Rozzie like a duck to water because they both liked to carp about mussels.

Now that she’s divorced, and her spawn have left the cave, Sheila is back on the beach, looking for “Mr. Sandbar”, but she’s still a little rudderless when it comes to politics. Probably because she’s too easily distracted by buoys and seamen.

Tweet Sheila @SheilaMermaid